Kiko's Kooks

Light Bulbs

Q. How many Neocats does it take to change a light bulb?
A. It's not for us to say - ask the Parish Priest.

Q. How many Neocat Priests does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None - they hate change and prefer to stay in the dark.

Definitions

Neocatatonic:	how one feels after sitting through another Neocat "sermon".
Neocatnap:	means of avoiding neocatatonia.
Neocategory:	classification used by Neocats to divide a community into us and them.
Neocatabolism:	process of breaking down a community through delivery of a sermon.
Neocatafalque:	platform from which deadly boring sermons are delivered: thought by Neocats to imbue them with life-like characteristics.
Neocatlike:	tunnel vision, lacking in subtlety.
Neocatspaw:	digit raised by Neocats as form of abuse of congregation.
Neocatholicism:	I am the p p p p parish priest.

The one true faith

A man dies, goes to heaven, and meets St. Peter, who gives him a tour pointing out the different areas occupied by souls of various faiths.

"Over there ", says St. Peter, "are the Episcopalians, and over there the Lutherans. Over there are the Jews, and there are the Muslims. Over there are the Hindus."

Finally, before they get to the next group, St. Peter says "Now be very quiet as we pass this lot. Those are the Neocats, they think they're the only ones here."

The four-legged members of the flock

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